Good Morning to You!

It was an early morning today, and not by choice. Karl had to drop his car off at the mechanic's, and it had to be there before 7am. So, I had to follow, then drive him to work. The mechanic is half an hour away, so I was up way before the sun. It's 8:30am, and I've already downed a large coffee. Needless to say, I had a good hour of driving by myself, so my mind was wandering. I am definitely a "glass-is-half-full" person, so I was thinking about all of the positives that have come from this whole breast cancer thing:

• I never have to worry about High-Beams again


• A legitimate reason to ask people if my boobs look good in this shirt


• I can go braless for the first time since 3rd grade


• I can play the "survivor" card when I'm fundraising - and its working!


• Now I have to update my wardrobe

Of course, there are a few negatives

• Pain


• Long-term discomfort


• Missing work

But the most noticeable negative is that my cat can't "make biscuits" on my boobs anymore because they're no longer squishy. Maybe the permanent implants will be less firm, but right now, poor Braxton doesn't know what to do! Poor kitty.

I'm not ashamed

You may or may not already know that I am riding in the Stars and Stripes Challenge at the USA Cycling Professional Championships in May. This event raises money for cancer research and advocacy, something which I now know about firsthand.

I've sent out a lot of emails and letters asking for donations. Initial response has been great, and I'm already close to my goal. I'm hoping I'll have to readjust that goal and move up to the next tier of incentives. I'd really love to ride the Pro Time Trial course before the race. But often, donations fly in right away, then taper off. A little reminder starts the cycle over again.

Please don't be offended if you recieve multiple messages. I understand that people are busy, or they just don't have a lot of extra cash right now. Those messages are just "friendly reminders" from me.

So if you'd like to donate on my behalf, go to www.P3ride.org . Click DONATE, then find my name on the drop down menu - Rebecca Baumeister. I would really appreciate it.

One

It seems like months since I was first diagnosed. Oh wait, it was months - three and a half actually. Now it's just one more day (because it's almost bedtime, so today doesn't count anymore). It was a busy day - cleaning, laundry - really exciting stuff. I did cast on a new knitting project: a scarf for a friend. I attempted to fix the huge, gaping hole in Karl's sock (failure - guess I'll have to make him another pair soon).

Nobody wants to hear about that pert of my boring life though.

Tomorrow I have my pre-op appointment with the plastic surgeon who's doing the reconstruction part of my surgery. He's the same Dr. that did my reduction surgery, almost 5 years ago to the day. He's great and I have total confidence in his abilities.

Then, late afternoon I have to go to the hospital for my "lymph node mapping". Basically, they're injecting bright blue dye into my right boob so they know exactly which lymph nodes are associated with that area. Then, they'll only take those lymph nodes for biopsy. This is my biggest worry - that the cancer has spread to the lymph nodes. When I had my MRI in October, it didn't show any lymph node involvement, but that was 3 months ago. Lymph node involvement equals chemo and/or radiation, and that would suck. I finally have my hair grown out long (after 2 1/2 years of waiting) and don't want to lose it, and we have a big vacation planned for May, and I don't want to miss that!

So, one more pre-surgical post tomorrow, then off to the hospital at o'dark thirty tuesday morning.

The Final Countdown

Eight more days.
Eight more days before things get a little ugly, a little painful.
Eight more days of having cancer.
Eight more days. After that, I'll be a cancer survivor.

Surprise!

I had a lovely surprise yesterday morning, right after I got to work. The surgeon's office called: they had a cancellation and"could I make it in that afternoon?" Well, yeah! Much better to miss work on Wednesday than the Friday before Victorian Holiday Weekend! The downside? I hadn't shaved my pits.
It was a good appointment, the doctor is great, he went through the different options, told me what would be best for my situation, and reassured me that waiting until after Christmas won't be a problem.
So now, I just have to wait for the nurse/coordinator to call to let me know what's available for surgery dates, and get my pre-op appointments scheduled.

ETA: Woo-Hoo! The nurse called already this morning, and my surgery is scheduled for Jan 18.
Damn! I'm still going to have to do inventory at work.

One or two?

Wow, this is definitely not going to be an easy decision. Not something I want to take lightly.
One side, or two? There are pros and cons either way. It's not often I have to make a choice like this - one so life altering. This is going to be tough.
I'll look the same either way, so why would it matter? The Dr mentioned that the risk of cancer developing on the other side is about twice that of any woman developing breast cancer. Do I want to completely eliminate that risk? The quick answer is yes, but I also need to think about the recovery from the surgery - how much harder will it be? I'm leaning toward taking both "girls" off. I guess I have a bunch of reading to do.

Finally!!

Well, I finally got the full scoop today. And, I got written copies of my pathology and MRI. And, if you ask me, it was pretty good news. Yes, I'm going to have surgery. The right side has to go. The other side? Well, that's kind of up to me. Either way, both sides will end up matching, and I get to choose my size! Those of you who know me, you know I'm a "busty" gal. It's tempting to just get rid of them both (the girls and I have never really been best of friends anyway). That would eliminate the risk of any cancer developing on the other side. But that isn't required.
The remainder of my good news is that I don't need any radiation or chemo. When I have my surgery, they'll take a couple of lymph nodes for biopsy - just to be sure it hasn't spread. Only if they find something on that would I need any chemo. That was my biggest concern - I just finally got my hair long enough for pigtails (after 2 years of growing!). But, on the downside of that - there goes my excuse to knit a plethora of super soft hats, and my weight-loss plan! I guess I'll have to stick to counting calories and exercising.
So, we celebrated the good news by shipping Katrina off to Nana & Papa's house - OK that was already planned: no school tomorrow and we both have to work. Then Karl and I went out for a nice Mexican feast, and came home to an exciting evening of folding laundry. (I know, we lead such an exciting life!)
So, hopefully my surgery will be after Christmas so I don't leave my co-workers in a jam during our busiest season, I can continue planning our 20th wedding anniversary trip in May, and I'll be able to fit into some t-shirts that Karl shrunk in the wash! I'm a happy girl

Some news!

Finally, I got some news.
A nice message was on the machine when I got home from work tonight.
My genetic test results are in (3 days short of the 2 week wait) and it showed no genetic mutations. Whew! I don't have to contact all 18 of my cousins to advise them to get tested. I'm supposed to call my genetic counselor tomorrow (she's grew up in Joliet - small world!).

Work was boring again - I got about 5 inches done on a knitted gift. Karl made yummy Toad-in-the-Hole for dinner. Now it's time to practice the music I got last night for the Thanksgiving Eve church service. Nothing like waiting until the last minute Mrs. Choir Director!

Continuing

I am still in waiting mode. Ugh! So frustrating!
I hate not knowing what's going to be happening in 2 weeks. I am one of those "plan ahead and be organized" kind of people. Normally, I'd have our Thanksgiving plans nailed down - where we're going, what I'm bringing, when do I need to bake... Nope, not this year.
Am I going to be able to play with the Ladies on Dec 4? City Band on Dec 12? Everything is still up in the air.
I do know that I have an appointment on Tuesday at 1:00.
I do know that I'll be having surgery in the near future.
I do know that there's no way I'll get all my Christmas knitting done unless I get the yarn ordered soon.
Yeah, I am still planning my Christmas knitting.
You get cancer. But life goes on. Christmas will still come. We'll still get a tree. I'll still want cardamom coffee cake on Christmas morning. Oh crap, it's my birthday too. I'll still get older. At least I'll have an excuse to spend my birthday with my family - who actually will acknowledge that it is my birthday (and I won't have to bring my own birthday cake).

Thankfully, the next 7 days will be busy ones, hopefully that will make the week go faster.

An answer!

Yet another thing I like about the University Health System - they bumped me up to the top of the list for reading my MRI!
Three spots on the right side, nothing on the left, lymph nodes are not involved. Right side will have to come off - but I'm OK with that.
We still have to wait for the genetic test results, but I do have a "consultation" appointment scheduled.

A normal Monday

To quote a childhood favorite "It's a beautiful day in the neighborhood."

The temps are going up into the 60's for the next few days. I have no excuse not to ride my bike, even if it's just to the grocery store (but, hopefully more than that). If it means the dishes or vacuuming won't get done, so be it. This freakishly warm November day is calling me.

It's pretty much a normal, boring Monday: schlep the cello to the bus stop for Katrina, clean the house, waste time on the computer, scoop the litter box... Man, I lead a boring life.

The excitement of yesterday (fondue, rehearsal, knitting) was capped off with a batch of brownies that I didn't even get to taste until this morning. I was so busy knitting all afternoon, I forgot about my rehearsal! Luckily, I remembered just about the time I normally leave. Eating a bowl of chili just before bed is not recommended so, no dinner last night (I was still full from lunch anyway).

I did a little research about my cancer this morning. The person who did my genetic counseling was able to tell us what kind of cancer it is, at least. So, it was a starting point. I'm full of general knowledge, and I'll be able to understand why the Dr is recommending the course of treatment, when we get to that.

The waiting game

Eleven days ago I got the phone call nobody wants. "You have breast cancer."
Not what you want to hear while you're at work, wrapping some child's birthday present. But, that's how it happened, and I can't change it.

Today was to be my MRI to see how involved the cancer is. But, apparently some tech nerd couldn't figure out how to fix the software glitch, so now I have to wait until friday. Tomorrow is my "genetic counseling" appointment. I'm a little nervous about it, I don't really want to hear "Your daughter is at high risk to develop cancer later." Do what you want to me, Mr Cancer, but leave Katrina out of it.

I started a new knitting project today while I was waiting to hear when I could reshhedule. Knitting is a major stress reliever for me. Much better than eating an entire box of Nilla Wafers. So, Karl will be the first recipient of my stress knitting. I should probably finish the two projects that are already half-done, but I do have a touch of knitting ADD.